Want to post my feelings on Twitter or Facebook? Doesn't matter, my family is taking over EVERYTHING. And they comment on EVERYTHING.

Lonely? Want a friend? Sucks for you. Now you get anxiety attacks just by THINKING of talking to other people at school.

Want a pet? Yes. Horribly. Lonely in this apartment. No friends to come visit.

Dog? No. Not around enough.

Cat? No. Allergic. Other people pull it off. Doesn't matter. "You'll be miserable."

Bunny? No. Most people allergic to cats are allergic to rabbits. Any proof I would be? No. Doesn't matter. Apartment may not take them either.

School work makes me think about the lack of friends I have to do it with.

Fanfiction distracts me from everything.

Only really sad and lonely during the days and Tuesday and Thursdays.

Which isn't horrible.

I guess.

I might need you again soon. Xanga may not be needed anymore. I hope I'm wrong. I'm going to be a corny romantic and say love is supposed to fix things. Blah.

Sooo, August 17th 2008 I moved in with Dan.

I know....It's crazy....

Next week I start school at Hunter...with Dan.

We were at the school together yesterday, and let me tell you....It was totally like Farmingdale.

So yea, that's where I am right now.  Who would've thunk it. If someone had told me when I started this journal that in barely 2 years I'd be living with Dan and pretty sure that I'd be sending the rest of my life with him...

I probably would've laughed at you.

So yea...here I am. Should totally write a book.

"How can she become the psychic that she longs to be...."

Can't sleep.

Written randomly a long time ago. My friend Deana was inspiration because she said she used to just sit down and stare at her wall, thinking for hours. Much different thoughts, but that's what popped in my head.

Saying it doesn't mean anything. A person needs to mean it. I've met many who didn't, and never will.

Tuesday marked my last really marked date.

February I've been keeping track of everything that happened last year by date via the livejournal. It seems stupid I know, I was just happy to say "Booyah!"

And Tuesday was the day that, in a way, he came back to me last year. Not when everything was done, but the parts that I was really involved in were done.

So yea...I survived with uber happiness and a quiet, HA! In mind.

Booyah....I rock at life.

It's the happy note that the livejournal needs since it doesn't get much for the happy, it was really only used for the bad a lot. Or spiteful bad...All that crap.

Now I think it's officially only getting used for my book, need the entries.

....Now I feel bad for my livejournal....

...Love you....XD

Since I've been using this to keep track of dates now, I've decided to be a real ass.

Today we had the longest phone conversation in all the time I've known him.

Hehe, boyfriend!

So I've always been big on my book idea. Don't ask me why but I know I would've read the book of my year (God! YEAR!). I've decided if I ever did it would need to be in two different parts, for two different songs.

The first is one I've always made clear to have thought that worked. I used to think the end didn't, now I know it does. It's about the wait and the struggle and it works so well.


Fiona Apple: I Know

So be it, I'm your crowbar
If that's what I am so far
Until you get out of this mess

And I will pretend
That I don't know of your sins
Until you are ready to confess
But all the time, all the time
I know, I know

And you can use my skin
To bury secrets in
And I will settle you down

And at my own suggestion
I will ask no questions
While I do my thing in the background
But all the time, all the time
I know, I know

Baby
I can't help you out
While she's still around

So for the time being
I'm being patient
And amidst the bitterness
If you'll just consider this
Even if it don't make sense
All the time, give it time

And when the crowd becomes your burden
And you've early closed your curtains
I'll wait by the backstage door

While you try to find
The lines to speak your mind
And pry it open, hoping for an encore
And if it gets too late
For me to wait
For you to find you love me, and tell me so
It's ok, don't need to say it.


The next I found randomly today. It's one of those songs that I can't completely explain to you why I think it would work so well. Just a feeling I guess. Something that said "yea Lindsay, you can make sense out of this."

Foo Fighters: Come Alive

Seems like only yesterday
Life belong to runaways
Nothing here to see, no looking back
Every sound monotone
Every color monocrome
Life begin to fade into the black
Such a simple animal
Steralized with alcohol
I could hardly feel me anymore

Desperate, meaningless
All filled up with emptiness
Felt like everything was said and done

I lay there in the dark, I close my eyes
You saved me the day you came alive

Still I try to find my way
Spending hours, endin' days
Burning like a flame behind my eyes
Drown in out, drink it in
Crown the king of suffering
Prisoner, slave 'til in the skies
Disappeared the only thing
Bittersweet surrendering

Knew that it was time to say goodbye

I lay there in the dark and I close my eyes
You saved me the day that you came alive
The reason you left me to survive
You saved me the day you came alive

Come Alive [x33]

I lay there in the dark and I close my eyes
You saved me the day that you came alive
Come Alive [x15]

Nothing more to give
I can finally come alive
Your life into me
I can finally breathe
Come alive

I lay there in the dark
Open my eyes
You saved me the day that you came alive

Come Alive [x11]

That's it, nothing very important but I know that, so far, the year would be split into two and those are the good ones.

I just want to sleep

Concerts are dangerous.

My advice to all is never have some sort of meaningful conversation, or do anything that can bring up sore subjects before one.

Doesn't matter if the music is happy or sad, as long as it can bring about emotions from you it can be quite dangerous.

You can be all out of it and in a different piece of mind for those few hours and then right back to being in a good mood right after.

....It's dangerous.....

Was at a concert last night and I was inspired. There will be rants. Oh yes, there will be rants.

Looking at how I started the day....And how I'm ending the day...Wow.

Just wow.

I hate not knowing what I did wrong. And I'd better not make a habit out of this before work.

If I wasn't in a filled house with people sleeping...I'd totally be screaming right about now.

It must be real...Because the other stuff doesn't bother me anymore.

I want.

::sigh::